8.25.2008

We're not makin' love...

This week I've been celebrating my return to the virtual world by diving headfirst into one of my favorite past times; downloading music and making playlists.

* (side note: so the gatekeepers over at Verizon have managed to somehow block me from using Limewire and my old trust Bearshare has been severely downgraded in the 369 days since I last logged in... If anyone else knows a good option please hit me up)

I make all manner of playlist but my personal favorite has always been the Baby Makin Mix. The Baby Makin Music is a strictly R&B mix for makin’ (or in most of our cases, practicing) babies. I have three existing volumes (checkout a taste of them on the right; note there are some songs I couldn’t find online, and a few tasty interludes that I couldn't replicate but something is better than nothin) the first was a masterful mix of some of my favorite moisture inducing tracks from high school and my freshman year. The second was a smoother compilation, paying tribute to the “grown and sexy” movement. The third and my personal favorite was a throwback to the original masters of baby makin, a libido stirring, soulful concoction, fueled by the instrumentation of the soul music of the 1970s.

So I sat at the terminal in the confines of my laboratory, ready to cast another spell of intoxication and brew my musical stew... when I found myself stumped, stymied (and slightly tipsy, 1/2 way into a great bottle of Chardonnay) with very little progress. I was discovering there weren't many songs worthy of a mix. Generally I approach my mixes like you would a good piece of jewelry. I browse through albums and select the gems that stand out from each artist’s catalog. Then I go through and pick out the ones that shine but also complement each other, and then carefully and thoughtfully arrange them to craft the perfect mix.

This process was road blocked at step one. I was digging for pearls in the rubble of the house that love built. What is really good with 3&B and soul music today?! Carl Thomas… what happened? I heard you were last seen w/ a 40 in one hand, and a j in the other, in a corner of Puff's garage. Then you came back with a super sub-par album… Damn! If 112 made it to a second album, so can you! Maxwell? Is that you?
Crawl from under that bed w/ that crusty ass stiletto (you know you remember that video) and get back to what you do best...

What happened to the backseat slow jams? The track that's supposed to get me wide open and willing to rock anytime, anyplace? I know there have been a handful of radio hits but seriously folks, Falsetto is not a panty dropper. I love I Luv Your Girl, so no disrespect to The-Dream, but Bed is close but no cigar [insert your own inappropriate Monica Lewinski joke].

Who's out now in R&B?
That kid who sings falsetto -- the fact that I can't remember his name says it all

Lloyd – he’s good for a catchy seat dance in the car/flirty grind in the club track, but that’s about it

Lyfe Jennings -- after that S.E.X. nonsense I can see that his attempts to be relevant will keep him from being relevant to this conversation

Usher – his new album is just like his choice in women… disappointing

Ne-yo – too tangy to tango to (I know… great alliteration… if you don’t know what that is ::pause:: do better!)

Alicia Keys – some good songs to dance to w/ your boo at your cousin’s wedding, or post up on your myspace when you have a new crush, but no baby makers

Chris Brown – I’m not taking my clothes off to songs sung by children

Pretty Ricky – … let’s not even discuss this just insert a rant about fuckery [here]

T-Pain?!?! – Hells No!

Where are the crooners? Is no one willing to sing a sista’s panties off anymore?

I dug into the crates like Scarlet O’Hara after they burned down Terra and pulled up a few yams to keep me from going hungry
(I know… bizarre reference, but if you have seen Gone With the Wind, you know it works!)

Here’s what I got:
Jill Scott – Come See Me, Crown Royal, Epiphany
Robin Thicke – Teach You a Lesson
Raheem DeVaughn – You, Breathe, Desire, Midnight (interlude), Marathon
Floetry – Closer, Lay Down
Janet – Moist (and BOOO!! to Discipline… it was just kinda over the top, even for Ms. Jackson)
Ciara – Promise (I know… it’s a stretch but I’m desperate here)
Umm…. Yeah, that’s all I got at the moment

Anybody? Suggestions? Comments?!?