Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts

12.08.2008

Press Play...

::Cue Ms. Jackson::
Tired of being number 2
I can do what she can't do
So much betta I'm for you
So so much betta I'm for you


Why, oh WHY?!? Do men choose to date subpar women?! I'm tired of being passed over. Most of the men I've kicked it with in the the last few years have decidedly not wanted to persue anything serious with me and then within months end up dating some random ass chick. What is that about? And to add insult to injury the turn into long term entanglements, and I'm looking at the girl, and then at myself and find myself saying "are you fucking kidding me?!"

Prime example. This kid I used to be into was dating this one girl off an on for years. He has aspirations of being a lawyer or even President someday but he stayed dating this balled-up brawd and I keep thinking "how does she really fit into your future?" You can't take a chick w/ a gel weave to the office holiday party and introduce her to the firm partners as your "better half".

Forget your basic upgrade... let me revitalize your circumstances. Is your life stagnat, well instead of letting that mosquito of a girlfriend suck all the life force out of you ::pause:: let me help you help yourself. The season isn't over, let's review the tape, pull out the play book and plan our strategy. I'm allergic to mediocrity, if I catch you slippin I will help you step it up. At the same time if you're on point I will be sure to have my shit together. I always play my position. Need me to be eye candy for evening... got you. Need me to be a boss and bad bitch my way into that item the store said was unavailable... no problem.


::cue Kimmy::
Does she do it like me?
Does she work that body?
Throw that ass like pu-pump-pump-pu-pump that hottie...

Why are you calling me, texting me, emailing me, smoke signalling trying to get in my panties if you are so happy with your girlfriend, wife, boorilla, whateva? Dating someone who can't float your boat is stupid. My platinum walls are plush, my lips are lucious and my liquids are libatious. I'm the big body benz, I'm an investment, 20 years from now you'll still be jocking my sleek lines, cushy interior and dazzling headlight. However you cheaped out and bought a Hyundai... no matter how you look at it it's still a Hyundai.


::cue Fionna::
I'll let you see me, I'll covet your regard
I'll invade your demeanor
And you'll yield to me like a scent in the breeze
And you'll wonder what it is about me


Please don't confuse me with dog, I'm different... My thoughts exactly Jay. I may not be your typical type. I many not have been what you were looking for at all but admit... you still like me. Just go with! I'm not typical in any way or fashion and men seem to run away from what isn't the norm. Why is that? I don't have a problem with letting you me, flaws and all. I'll play into whatever game you like to play. I love being submissive and I'll give you all of my attention... but don't get upset when I know you like the back of my hand and can see through all your game and bullshit. That's the way it works. The mirror goes both ways. The more I let you see of me, the more of you I get to know.

Most bitches can't hold a candle to me. Fact. I have a certain je ne sais quoi and you won't ever forget me.


::cue Badu::
If you want too feel me baby
Better be divine
Bring me water for these flowers
Growing out my mind

Give me nothin' just be gentle
Breathe love in my air
Use me, don't abuse me, love me
Cause these herbs are rare

I found myself sitting on my couch this weekend, and took stock of my life. I'm 27, college educated (at one of the top 3 schools in my field no less), gainfully employed and have no kids. I'm well rounded, not hoodie but street savvy. I can throw down in the kitchen, in the bedroom, and in the boardroom. I take care of myself, I try to keep it taunt (we're working on tight), I take my vitamins, keep my hair, nails and toes, correct. I'm sweet, thoughtful and caring. I like sports, I like the arts. Though not a home owner, I will most likely inherit the building I currently occupy... so... where's the down side? Why am I still single?

I dunno why but I do know I'm not settling for bullshit. I don't kick it to just anyone. It takes someone special to catch my interest which is why I think I find it so disappointing when I find someone I think is a contender, who will really challenge me as a partner, decides to take a lower card when they could be in the title fight. I want someone who will nurture me as I nurture them. I'm special so I want someone just as special...

In closing I will quote myself from an away message I crafted in undergrad:

What other woman do you know can hold her own in any conversation from discussions on the latest hip-hop battle to Lysistrata and classical greek literature.  Can recite the first 16 bars of Nigga What Nigga Who, or the first 16 lines to Chaucer's Canterbury tales in Old English.  Loves Bvlgari jewelry, but can't live w/o amber & silver rings.  Loves indie and foreign flicks, but would be content watching Xmen on the WB saturday morning.  Who is comfortable enough to go out and buy porn and dare someone to say something, but is still wholesome enough to introduce to your moms.  Who else can cook a gourmet meal and find you the best Chardonnay you've ever had for less than $20.  A chick who doesn't talk shit, just does her thing.  In Biggie's words "heard she can suck a good dick and cook a steak up"

11.19.2008

Brown Paper Packages Tied-up w/ String...

So the Christmas season is upon us and I have begun my shopping. I always get a little sad when Christmas shopping because I always see great men's gifts with no one besides my Daddy to give them to. I've already hooked Dad up with a fly ass wool 3 button Ralph Lauren Top Coat. Now if only I had a stocking to fill for someone special...

I think I have a talent for gift giving. It's one of my favorite things to do. To me it's the best part of Christmas (yes even better than receiving). There's nothing more awesome to see someones face light all up and knowing that you put that glow there.

Since I don't have anyone significant to lavish upon, I figured I'd put together a quick guide to some of my favorite gift ideas for those who are gifting challenged:

To me the key to successful gift selection is honing on the things your boo loves then most and then finding the best whatever that is... here are some examples -

Hood men -
Does your sweetie rock a hoodie 24/7, 365? Is he the type that will throw on a hoodie over his dress shirt? Why not take him to the next level w/ this:

Juicy Couture Reversible Fleece and Rabbit Fur Hoody - $675


Walk Softly (but carry a big stick) -
I'm a big fan of slippers and I know quite a few men who are too. There's nothing like rolling through the grocery store in sweats and slippers. My philosophy is that if they didn't intend for you to wear them outdoors, then they wouldn't have put rubber tread on the bottoms. If your honey's pair are looking raggedy around the edges, treat his tootsies to an upgrade:
Sampson Slipper by Ugg - $104


or if he has the swag to pull it off, opt for these:


Stubbs & Wootton Slippers - $350



Legalize it -
If you boo likes to take a toke, instead of a Zippo lighter that he's likely to loose, opt for these:



For Your Party Monogram Matches - $48/Set of 50

Stuntin is a Habit - Are you dating a brotha that stays dapper. Trump that tie clip he bought himself and they cuff links you picked up for his birthday by dazzling him with these pimpish male furnishings:

Tateossian Mother of Pearl Collar Stays - $48/pair



Gym Rat -
Are you dating a muscle man who lives in the gym? Does his body look great but his gym bag looks like he'd been using it as a punching bag? Do you just have a bunch of extra cash lying around? Then this gift is for you (for him):

Marc Jacobs Luxe Gym Bag - $850



Protect Yo Paper -
I had a Black man explain to me recently that men (or at least Black men) are impervious to water (this was after I inquired as to why he was walking out in the rain w/ no umbrella and why he refused to stand under mine). While he maybe be waterproof, I'm pretty sure his canvas messenger bag was not. If you're dating Aqua Man, get him some waterproof gear to go with his natural suit of armor:

SealLine Urban Bag - $149.95


I have more where this came from... check back for updates throughout the shopping season!! :o)